Making us who we are

I know some people think my view of my mother is too harsh and unforgiving. I suppose I will always work on achieving a state of grace in my relationship with her.

But it isn’t just me who has noticed my mother’s unilateral engagement with her family. My son, who is a 20-year-old college junior, just sent me this email:

Hey mom,

So today Ryan came back from his evolution class and, as usual, had some awesome facts to discuss. He told me about what’s called “the grandmother theory” – that the elongated life of humans into one’s second generation of offspring is a genetic advantage because grandmothers can basically provide supplemental/additional mothering and teaching, which creates greater ability to expand the gene pool. It’s a pretty interesting idea you can read about here http://www.sci-news.com/othersciences/anthropology/article00678.html

The theory relies on grandmothers’ ability to stay alive long enough to mother their grandchildren, so I thought it was interesting to think about the psychological effects on people like me who have living grandmothers, yet don’t receive any additional mothering. To quote the article, “Grandmothering gave us the kind of upbringing that made us more dependent on each other socially and prone to engage each other’s attention.” And “grandmothering was the initial step toward making us who we are.”

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