I am the middle-aged daughter of a mother with Aspergers Syndrome. Writing about what it is like to be the child of a mother on the autistic spectrum is one way I try to understand her and myself.
Both my mother and I were raised before Aspergers became recognized as a distinct condition in the 1990s. Discovering this framework for understanding our unusual mother has helped my siblings and me see why she is the way she is. It does not erase the effects of having a mother who lacks empathy and has limited interest in her children.
I am the married mother of two sons, one just out of college and the other about to start his junior year. In the accepted parlance of the Autism Disorder vocabulary, we are all neuro-typical. One of my brother’s sons has Aspergers, and that diagnosis in 2001 is how we were led to the information that revealed a certain logic that explained our mother’s behavior patterns, which had always seemed so hard to fathom
I started writing about my mother a few years ago, often interrupted by work in software marketing. I recently quit my job and am focusing on writing. I know some of what I say about my mother seems harsh, especially if you have nurturing parents and cannot imagine any other kind. I appreciate comments and hope you can forgive my lapses in compassion.